Why SKREAM?

Ever read the marketing remarks on a home listing and wonder just what the agent or home owner are really trying to convey? Here is a quick little summary of 20 of the most commonly used terms along with the ‘practical’ translations.


Old charmer – an old and ugly house

Stunning house – the house is not ugly

Low maintenance lot – no yard; the kids will have to play in the street

Sunny corner lot – noisy intersection of two busy streets

Tudor – two bedrooms are in the attic which is not insulated; very hot in summer and very cold in winter

Cape Cod – styled after Third World slum dwellings

Easy freeway access – noisy arterial street close to freeway

Meticulously maintained in the original condition – the appliances are 50 years old

Ready to remodel – the house is about to collapse; you will have to invest twice the asking price in remodel before you can move in

Newly remodeled kitchen – 50-year old cabinetry and faucets have been replaced with cheap modern equivalents

Ready to move in – the interior has been painted with one coat of cheap paint

Desirable neighborhood – this little house is extravagantly overpriced because the neighborhood has a snobbish reputation

1 car garage – you can drive your Ford Escort into the garage but there is no room to open the door

In-city living – it is not safe to walk in this neighborhood after dark

Recreation room with wet bar – basement has been painted and has a faucet

Large family room – large basement

Bedroom in basement – basement has a 1′ by 2′ window

Lots of storage space – basement too small to be called a family room

Partial mountain view – you can see the tip of Mt. Olympus if you climb the roof

Territorial view – good view of your neighbor’s bedroom window